I need Me


I cleared the fogged up mirror with my palm and stared at the pair of eyes looking back at me. Wet strands of hair clasped to her face. Her dark circles have worsened, eye bags look permanent and skin is breaking out again. I smiled apologetically. "She is tired", my heart whispered.
This time, instead of shaking my head and turning away, I stood there staring deep in those eyes. She has been part of my dreams, my struggles, my doubts and my fears and yet she seems so distant, so lost to me. I have made her run around in circles when I knew she skipped two meals in a row. I have kept her hooked up on that book when her lids were getting heavier. I have pushed her and stretched her to the point she would snap. I have been cruel and ruthless but she bore all of it silently. And now she's showing signs. Signs of surrender. Despite all the supplements, she lost some more pounds. Her shoulders were stiff. Her feet hurt. A lot. All the time. Her eyes burn at night. And by now they were welling up with tears. Trickling down her wet cheeks. One after another. I placed my forehead on the cold mirror and cried a little with her. I need me. More often than I think. 

Did you ever feel such a tug of war happening inside you, between dreams, expectations, obligations and responsibilities? All of these grasping on to the rope of time in a ceaseless tussle. Every day there is one winner among these but you are always the loser. Ever told yourself that the only way to beat down stress is to just get the work done? And then the perfectionist inside you takes over, pushing you to go an extra mile, maybe a little more until you realize you have been sitting in the same position for hours.

Setting high goals for oneself is never wrong. Taking initiative and having a strong self-drive are most desirable qualities one could have. But operating at this end of the spectrum carries some potential costs. These costs are the ones we are ready to pay believing the return outweighs them, but these little costs build up to something so ugly that it disrupts all your activities and deteriorates your health. I am also guilty of this mistake; of not listening to my parents when they told me compromising on your health is never a good idea. Over the years things like cutting back on sleep, forgetting meals, ignoring anxiety induced headaches became my habits.

I hardly sat down and really enjoyed a meal. I have seen people mulling over the question, “Aj kya khaien yaar? Samjh nai arahi.” For me the choice of ‘what to eat’ needs to meet two conditions, “What can I get fastest? What will help me function longest before the rumbling of my stomach gets embarrassingly loud?” My weekdays sleep is restricted to four to five hours. I started developing symptoms of repetitive strain injury (RSI) when my hands’ muscles and tendons were getting damaged due to overuse from constant typing. When writing is your favorite escape from work, it really does not help with the condition.

With pain shooting up my hands all the way to my shoulders and neck, standing on the weighing scale-still underweight-I realized the cruelty of my actions. How my constant race against time has pushed me further behind. How I have never truly loved myself but my endeavors, ironically all of them taken in the name of self-development. It’s important to understand that there is a stark difference between working and wearing oneself to a shadow.

We just need to remember to do certain things, small things and they work like wonders, such as, giving your brain some downtime; preferring night sleep over multiple power naps; consciously changing and fixing your posture while working; asking for help because there is nothing wrong in doing so; sometimes accepting the fact that your visions are just unrealistic and most importantly pausing and taking in a deep breath, focusing on every small intake of air and cherishing it like an essential activity of your life!

It took me a long time to understand that while running to IST, its perfectly alright to pause and observe that squirrel climbing the tree, or when REC runs out of Samosas you can still push your friend to accompany you to H block for Samosa treat (with all the free chutneys). Whenever you are being too hard on yourself just give yourself a gentle reminder that,
“If you want to soar in life, you must first learn to F.L.Y (First Love Yourself).”-Mark Sterling 

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